


Good Enough

by sixbucksandwingless (ed_geins_tailor)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little angst, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, but this is honestly kinda happy, coda to 9x22, contains spoilers for 9x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:41:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ed_geins_tailor/pseuds/sixbucksandwingless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place directly after the events of 9x22.  Dean overcomes the effects of the Mark long enough to realize a few things about himself and Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Enough

"Dean?"

It’s late, really fucking late, and you know he doesn’t sleep. Neither do you now. You sit at the table, a bottle of scotch by your hand. You’re beyond using a glass now.

You turn to look at him and that boiling, burning rage that’s been clawing at your insides seems to calm a bit. He sits down opposite you, casting a sad eye at the whisky.

"You manage to patch him up, Cas?" you say, not really giving a fuck one way or the other.

"Yes. Gadreel will heal. I have him in one of the spare rooms to rest for now."

You reach for the bottle to take another drink and your sleeve pulls up, just a bit, but enough to draw Cas’ eyes to that ugly red Mark on your arm. He looks at you, blue eyes so full of that same look they had back at his headquarters when the other angels tried to get him to gank you.

You want to shrink away from that look…but at the same time, you want to bask in it.

"Dean—" he begins, but you know what he’s going to say and cut him off.

"I don’t wanna talk about it, Cas. Not tonight." You take a long, fortifying drink and the next words spill out of your mouth without your brain’s permission. "Not tonight. Not when you’re finally home."

He stares at you for a long time, so long you think that maybe he didn’t hear you, and maybe that’s best, but then he reaches across the table, placing a hand on the arm that doesn’t bear the Mark. You look down at those long, slender fingers against your skin and your heartbeat seems to triple.

You want to think it’s the booze, but you know deep down it’s not.

"Do you really mean that, Dean? Is this my…home?" Fuck, is that _tears_ in those blue eyes? You’re uncomfortable with dudes crying, but this is Cas…

You want to play it off, but something tells you that wouldn’t be fair to him. So you put the bottle down, lean forward, and look him straight in the eye.

"It always has been. You should have been here all along, Cas. With me." You cough slightly and add, "And Sam. With us."

He smiles then, that slight smile that just turns up the corners of his mouth, that smile you know now he reserves just for you. 

You want to close the distance between you right then; you want to kiss his smiling lips. God, you just want to kiss him so badly.

Instead, you chicken out and simply smile back. He squeezes your arm gently, and when he finally removes it, his fingers trail down your wrist and across your hand.

You suppress a shiver at his touch, and that part of you that hasn’t been totally fucked up by the Mark _aches_ for him.

He gets up then, removing that stupid coat. “I just wanted to say goodnight. I found some books in the library I’m going to study over, see if there’s anything in there that could help us.” He’s not even gone from the room yet, and you already miss him.

You’re such a fucking idiot, Winchester.

You take your chance then, getting up so fast your chair almost falls over. Cas looks at you, instantly worried. “Dean, are you all right?”

You walk over to him, taking the coat and slinging it over the back of his chair. You put your hands on his shoulders, gently, but you can feel yourself trembling. 

_last night on earth shit and all that, am I right??_

No.

That’s _not_ right.

Because this is _Cas_.

And you love him.

You pull him to you, hands sliding up to cup his face, relishing the feel of his stubble underneath your fingers, and all you can see is blue eyes and _love_.

_Cas loves you._

You hang on to that thought as you bend slightly. The kiss itself is a gentle thing, sweeter than you ever imagined you could be as ruined as you are.

You barely register his arms coming around you, one hand sliding up your back to card through the back of your hair.

Neither one of you try anything more than just kissing; no tongue, no wandering hands. But it’s enough; it’s _more_ than enough as you move against each other.

When you finally break the kiss, he’s holding you against him, and you drop your forehead to his, closing your eyes and breathing in his scent. Your chests are pressed together and you feel his heartbeat racing against yours.

You want so badly to say those words just on the tip of your tongue, those words he deserves to hear. Instead, you stand there like a giant idiot, speechless.

But he moves to kiss your forehead, your eyelids, and you feel his smile against your face.

"I know, Dean," he says softly into your ear. "It’s okay. I know."

And so you hold him, wishing like hell you’d never agreed to take the Mark, to take such a burden.

But holding your angel in your arms right now makes that go away, however briefly, and you bury your face into his shoulder as he smooths your hair, whispering Enochian words into your skin.

You don’t know what’s going to happen.

You don’t even know if you’ll all come out of this alive.

But you love him.

And he loves you.

And for now, that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song by Evanescence "Good Enough". These lyrics especially speak to me in terms of Destiel:
> 
> And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.  
> Pour real life down on me.  
> 'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.  
> Am I good enough for you to love me too?


End file.
